I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
