OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
