She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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