A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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