Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We left an ass print on the piano.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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