I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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