So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
