Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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