God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
