i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
