She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
