That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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