It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Found the puke drawer
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize