I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
