Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
