Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
