Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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