I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Randomize
