u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
