Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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