I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
