Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
