Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
