I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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