So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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