I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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