So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
