I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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