My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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