so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
