fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
