1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
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