Your tits are I can't wait for
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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