It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
cat food counts as protein by the way
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
