I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
