oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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