how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
