took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
