You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
