I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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