I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
