Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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