Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
