K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize