I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you will always have a special place in my vag
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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