He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
