Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
