The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize