I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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