i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
