He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What a dumb baby whore.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
