it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
