this beer tastes like vomit already
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Who died my cat blue again?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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