The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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