: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
