I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
