We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
