Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
