you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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