Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
