You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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