I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
