brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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